If I’m honest, I’ve spent way too much time living in resentment with regards to many things that really all came down to one thing:
What I thought was best in regards to what I wanted.
Yeah, it wasn’t pretty in many ways but at the same time, resentment will blind you to the Truth. It will steal your joy and it will blind you to all that is being beautifully orchestrated right before your eyes. There will be this perpetual state of mind that the grass is greener on the other side, never satisfied with your own green grass. Always looking for something different, something else, a better way according to our own clouded lens. Not getting what we think we want further adds to the resentment, disappointment, frustration and anger.
Yeah, if I’m honest, I lived there for a while.. too long.. but God!!
Light always shines brighter than darkness. Light will be found breaking through even the slightest crack and it’s enough to illuminate what needs to be seen. I’m grateful for His light breaking in revealing His perfect Truth. I’m grateful for the conviction of the Holy Spirit. I’m grateful that His ways are perfect and not like mine at all. It’s marvelous that He doesn’t always give us what we think we need, but He will release what He knows is best. That’s it.. He alone knows what is best.
So, I finally surrendered. I let go. I chose to acknowledge my pride and repent for trying to force my own way. See, I’ve been given much. Lots of what I’ve been given I threw away… it’s gone. It’s yesterday… the days, months and years of yesterday. I let go of all the things of yesterday that I didn’t steward well.. opportunities that came, people who came my way, the beautiful life that was right in front of me that I refused to see… I let it all go. Honestly, it has been so freeing.
I’m not even sad anymore. Surrender is so absolutely powerful. It takes the sting out of the heart. It allows joy to flood in again because a deep appreciation starts to shine for all that was given, even if it wasn’t appreciated at the time. I can see it now. But I’m not living in remorse or regret or even grief. I’m full of gratitude!
Yesterday is gone. It doesn’t benefit anyone to still live there.
Acknowledging what we’re still holding onto is the first step. Be honest. Holy Spirit can work with honesty. Sometimes we may never understand why things are the way they are.. we have probably all wanted different at times, different outcomes, different everything. But that’s not where we are. We are right here in this moment. Today. Not yesterday or tomorrow.
It’s time to move past it all and remember that the Lord is good. So good, that He will give us what we need because what we need is best. Surrender. Let go of the grief, anger, frustration, disappointment and resentment. Choose to believe in His goodness and His ways even if you don’t understand. Choose to be grateful and let thanksgiving arise from your heart. Speak out your thanksgiving. Not because things were necessarily good, but because He is good.
I promise you, joy will begin to flood your heart once again. After all, Godliness with contentment is great gain.
I’m grateful for my own green grass. I can see it now.
There’s no other place I’d rather be but here.
Deidre Gaines resides in West Virginia with her husband and best friend, Richard. She has three grown children and one granddaughter. Deidre is a Licensed Minister, Prophetic intercessor, blogger (Shamar), speaker and encourager with a heart to see the nature of Jesus put on display for the world to see. She is passionate to see His love, unity, presence, power and authority transform hearts, cities, regions and the nations through bringing glory and honor to His name. Deidre desires to see the church walk in the fullness of His Kingdom come, His will be done, on earth as it is in heaven, Matthew 6:10. She enjoys spending time with her family, sports, crocheting and being outdoors. Especially taking rides in the side by side with her husband Richard.