Conscious Compassion

No comments

There are days that I feel like I am rocking the homeschool mom life.  Kids are up early, eat a semi-healthy breakfast, and are ready to start school on time.  School work is done by 1:00pm and we spend the afternoon at the park having a picnic lunch and playing.  Other days the dog yaks on the floor while you’re trying to explain how to multiply fractions, the other kid is mad because they think science class is stupid, the cat is trying to shred my curtains, and you feel like you can’t win for losing.

I do love homeschooling, but it did take us a while to figure a few things out.  I have one child that would just refuse to work on certain subjects.  No matter what I grounded her from or threatened to punish her with she would just put her head down and refuse to work.

I began praying for God to fix this child because I was about to lose my mind. Then he opened my eyes to the fact that she wasn’t being disobedient as I initially thought but was struggling and didn’t want to admit it.  I felt like I was a total failure; how could I misunderstand this with my own child?

I turned from using force to get my point across to compassion.  I started asking her questions such as how she was feeling about what she was learning and if I was rushing her through the lessons too fast.  Come to find out she had so much anxiety about wanting to be perfect and if she didn’t understand the concept immediately, she would just shut down.  With this new knowledge we came up with a game plan to help her get over her anxiety of making mistakes and our school day improved drastically.

The incident made me stop and think about how many times over the years have I made this mistake with other people.  Customers who would be huffing and puffing over paying for their groceries.  I would think they were just being cheapskates and cranky but maybe that was their last $20 till payday. Maybe they were upset because they didn’t think the food was enough to last for their family until the end of the week and really weren’t mad at me for ringing up their groceries, after all.

I also have been on the flip side of this.  A few years ago, I had a friend who is a Christian upset over a situation that I was indirectly involved in.  One afternoon she began blowing up my phone with accusations and talking in a derogatory manner about how we were handling things.  After about an hour of dealing with them I told them that I did not have time at the moment to talk about it because I was dealing with a tense behavior issue with my special needs kiddo at the school.  They stopped and texted that they were praying for me.  I responded with a thank you and was relieved.  That peace lasted for about five minutes before they started blowing up my phone and bashing me again.  For two hours this person threw Bible verses at me, told me what I was doing wrong, what my husband was doing wrong, and even what my dog was doing wrong.  I have never had someone quote Bible verses to me in such an incompassionate way.  I did end up blocking them for my own sanity. 

Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

But then there is that one person that God puts right in your path when you need them. 

When all the kiddos were living at home, my oldest was playing high school softball and needed items to wear when they play in cold weather.  I rounded up all five kids and we headed to Walmart.  I was exhausted but had no choice because this needed done that day.  I got the double stroller out for the littles and started getting the other three kiddos out of the car when my ball player decided that she wasn’t going in.  I explained to her that she had to go in and try the items on because we didn’t have time to return anything.  She refused to go in if I was taking the whole crew because it embarrassed her having so many siblings.  I stood in the parking lot having lively discussion with her that nobody cared how many sisters she had, and we just needed go get the stuff, try it on, and leave but teenagers aren’t always logical.

I finally get everyone into the store and get a buggy to start shopping and a random lady came over to me and asked to give me a hug.  She whispered in my ear that I was a good momma and teenagers are the reason why some animals eat their young.  That one moment made me feel like maybe I wasn’t a total failure as a mom and that this is a tough job to have.  Her compassion changed my whole outlook and gave me confidence.

I have no idea who this woman was and never seen her again.  I have no idea if she was a Christian or not, but her kind words and compassion I still remember 10 years later.

Remember that you never know what someone is going through so choose to show them kindness and compassion, even if they may not deserve it, you may be the only person that day who does.

You can reach Tammy through her email: or through her Facebook group:  Mopping up the Blessings.

Tammy Bassett is a speaker and the author of the Mopping Up Your Blessings blog. She was born and raised a country girl who’s roots run deep in the mountains of Appalachia. She has worked a wide variety of jobs ranging from radio to insurance agent. She is now a stay-at-home mom, who along with her husband, are raising five daughters (ages 10 to 25), seven cats and one dog. She uses her accounting and business administration degree to help run her busy household.
She loves spending time with her family and homeschooling her two youngest children. She spends a lot of her day trying to conquer the obstacles in her home. With four of her children still living at home the laundry pile (nicknamed Mt. Wash-more) is her nemesis. Some days she wins and some days she doesn’t, but she always gets up the next day and tries again.
She also loves camping with her family as long as there is a camper with air conditioning, a comfy bed, and indoor plumbing. Her downfall is her obsession with iced coffee. Thankfully the closest Starbucks is an hour from her home, or she would be broke. She also loves reading and learning new skills such as homesteading, being more self-sustainable, gardening and foraging.
She relates the most to her favorite animal, the alpaca. They are both kind of weird and look like they are two months past due on a haircut. Much like alpacas she makes a gentle humming noise when happy and if irritated she often stamps the ground with her feet. Her husband has refused to buy her an alpaca much to her disappointment.
But more than anything, she loves the Lord and is growing more in her faith each day and hopes to inspire others to do the same. She wants everyone to understand that God’s grace is truly amazing and has changed her from the inside out and he can do the same for you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s