How To Get Out Of Your Way

Get out of your way! 

Oh, did that seem a bit forward for our first time meeting? My apologies. Let me introduce myself. Hi! I’m Telina and I tend to overthink, well, pretty much everything. I also get in my own way, a lot.

Let me explain. I am a creative and I have a ton of things that I want to do at some point in my life. My brain almost always has a lot of things going on, which is good but can also be not so great at the same time. 

When you have a lot of things that you want to do, it’s easy to become overwhelmed. 

For example, I write music and love to sing. However, I have had dreams that I’ve been afraid to chase because my brain runs away with me. 

Let’s say I have an awesome opportunity to do something with my music and before I know it, my brain has me out on tour every weekend. The thoughts that run through my mind, instead of just being happy and enjoying the small opportunities that are presenting themselves to me are, how will I do it all? How will I still take care of my kids and husband and my home and be a pastor’s wife? 

It’s times like these that I have to slap myself in the face and say, “Slow down Beyonce, no one is asking you to go on tour.” 

I have to say that it’s a little embarrassing to admit to you the way my brain works. Part of succeeding is being able to see yourself successful. I must say, I have that part down pat. That can be good, but when it overwhelms me before I’ve even started anything, it can be the very thing that stops me from beginning. In a nutshell, I get in my own way.  

A couple months ago, a friend shared an online challenge for Christian artists, songwriters, and worship leaders with me and thought that I might be interested in it. 

Now, speaking of overwhelming, there have been so many things to pop up online lately because of the limitations of doing things in person during the quarantine. There are so many good things available, it can be hard to distinguish what the good, and also, right thing is for me. I was trying to limit myself to just those things that were right for me so I was slow to say yes. 

I looked at the challenge and saw that it was free, which was a good thing. It was only a seven day challenge, so not too long of a commitment, another plus. I still wanted to make sure it was the right thing for me to devote my time to. 

As I looked at the challenge, I realized that one of the speakers was one I had heard before and that my friend and I had been able to meet a year or two previously. I decided to do it. 

During that week, I was ministered to in such a way that things I had been wondering if they would ever come to fruition began to unfold right before my eyes. I knew that God had done this on purpose. 

The week long challenge ended but I was able to stay connected and have now committed to a life long membership to a mentorship with Brad Guldemond, who led the challenge, and a small group who came out of the week long challenge. 

The way it all came about is amazing and something that I’ll have to tell you about at a later time. It was the first challenge he had ever done of this sort and he had some questions, but decided that if certain people said yes to certain things, he would say yes to continuing on with it. 

One of the phrases that really caught on during the challenge is that you never know who is on the other side of your yes. I am so grateful that the person he was asking something of said yes. I’m thankful that he then said yes to coordinating the challenge, that my friend said yes to sending it to me, and that I said yes to doing it!  

Guess what? During the first month of the mentorship program, I’ve learned that there are different types of artists. To be successful, you do NOT have to be on tour full time and be gone every weekend! Of course, it would be great to do that, if it’s what you want to do. But it’s not completely necessary. It’s not an all or nothing kind of thing. It is possible for me to write music, lead worship at my church, lead worship for other churches and conferences when I am comfortable with it, and still be successful! I am the one that controls my schedule, right? I know that doesn’t seem like a mind blowing revelation for you, but for me, I needed to hear it from someone else! 

Do you remember the scenario I told you about earlier? The one where I was on tour and unable to fulfill any of the other responsibilities I had because I was exhausted from traveling the world in front of millions of people? I was kinda hoping you had forgotten about that. I don’t expect you to have as wild of an imagination as I do, so maybe you can’t relate to that kind of thinking. 

But maybe you can relate to an extent. Maybe you have things that you want to do too. Maybe you don’t know where to start. 

Here’s what I want you to do: Make a list of the things that you see yourself doing at some point in your life. Maybe you catch yourself thinking about crocheting blankets as an older lady for all of the new babies being born in your church or neighborhood. Maybe you have a desire to stand in front of thousands of people and proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ. Maybe you would like to write music and share it with the world. 

Here’s what I want you to know: It’s okay to dream! I am so glad that you are allowing yourself to dream of doing things that you’re not doing right now. 

Sometimes, when you’re a dreamer, you can almost feel guilty for wanting something more than what you have. Especially when what you have is awesome and you are abundantly blessed. 

I want to assure you that dreaming of something more is not being ungrateful for what you already have. It is just allowing yourself to be open to everything that God has placed inside of you and doing everything you can to allow those things to come out of you. The problem comes when we start to chase the dream more than we chase the One who gives us the dream. I’ve been there and done that and I promise you, you won’t get anywhere, except frustrated, quick. 

Here’s what I want you to do: Think of what it is you want to do. Make a list if there’s a lot. If you can’t think of anything, think about what you daydream about and take note of that. Then pray about your list and ask God to give you favor in what it is that He wants you to do. 

Once you decide what that is, I want to challenge you to take one step toward that dream. It doesn’t have to be anything huge. As you take your first steps toward your dream, pray that God will begin to open up doors, if it’s what he wants for you, or that he will begin to give you wisdom to go in a different direction.   

Maybe you are 20 years old and your dream is to crochet those blankets for all the babies around you as an older lady. It’s not your dream for yourself in this moment, but for later. Go ahead and buy yourself a hook and some yarn and learn the chain stitch. You don’t have to be crocheting full blankets tomorrow. You start by buying the supplies and learning the simplest thing first. 

You ask, “How will I learn the chain stitch when no-one around me crochets?” 

We are blessed with so much readily available information right now. With just a click of a button you can learn just about anything you want to learn. Take advantage of that. Get on YouTube and look up a video. I’m sure you will be able to find multiple videos to teach you what you want to learn for free. 

Maybe you see yourself proclaiming the gospel in front of thousands of people but don’t know how that will happen. Why don’t you ask your church if they need a Sunday School teacher? Even if it’s only once a month. I can almost guarantee that there will be a place for you. Study and teach that lesson like you are doing it for Jesus himself; you kind of are, right?

Do you want to write music and share it with the world? Go ahead and start writing songs. Enjoy those songs in your quiet time with the Lord. Share them with your family. When you’re comfortable, make a YouTube channel, and share them with anyone who will listen to them. In the meantime, seek out any information you can find on how to do it better and be a sponge and soak up the information and apply it to your writing. Then pray for God to open up doors and be willing to walk through the doors He opens for you.

Maybe this isn’t as glamorous as what you were thinking. 

Zechariah 4:10 says: For who hath despised the day of small things? for they shall rejoice, and shall see the plummet in the hand of Zerubbabel with those seven; they are the eyes of the Lord, which run to and fro through the whole earth.

The New Living Translation says, Do not despise these small beginnings. 

So many times, when we see people who have attained what we desire, they have a story we don’t know about. Unfortunately, we tend to only see the success. Many times, you wouldn’t want to walk the road that led them to their success. 

Also, have you noticed that the people that seemed to have it come easy didn’t have what they needed to be able to sustain their success? 

We all have a story. Many times, I feel like the dream is just a means to teach us things, namely how to get closer to God. If God just let us have our dreams without any of the journey it took to get to it, He would most definitely be doing us a disservice. 

There are so many things that get in the way of our dreams. Life is hard and throws us a lot of curveballs. There’s enough of that without us getting in our own way. So please, do yourself a favor and get out of your way! 

I would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment and let me know what your dream is and what small step you plan on taking to get out of your way.

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Telina Frye is the author of Dare to Dream, as well as a pastor’s wife and mother to her 13 year old son and 10 year old daughter. 

She is a singer/songwriter and a natural born dreamer. Telina is also credentialed in the Church of God as an Exhorter and holds a Minister of Music License. She serves as the worship leader at the church where her husband serves as lead pastor. 

Telina loves having deep, meaningful conversations about what is and what could be. She hopes this blog will inspire readers to dare to look past what is, see what can be, and reach for the impossible.